Dear family, friends and strangers
Today, I experienced something so shell-shocking that I think it should serve as a warning to all the females out there. Regardless of what shape and sizes, how pretty how average looking, how dolled up you are, I hope you take the following experience that I'm going to share with you very very seriously. Because as a blogger myself, this is the best I can do to share with everyone.
Just a few days ago, I was watching local blogger
Xiaxue reviewing her fan mails and mentioning about how brave she was when she blogged about the Molester who she experienced years ago.
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This evening, as I left work as usual, I took the North-East line towards punggol to meet a friend of mine. As usual, I boarded the train at Boon Keng, and was standing at the pole, that was facing the doors of the train. On the next stop, a man boarded the train.
At this period of time, the train wasn't even crowded, there was no one trying to squeeze us around or whats not. He was standing at where people would usually rest their backs on beside the door. But his back was facing the door
That was exactly what kind of position I was in. Initially, I didn't notice anything strange. Until, that guy, whipped out his phone and started holding it in an upright position.
As a phone user myself, and an observer myself, whenever we use our phone to text, to see certain things, we would tilt it in a level whereby it will be in a 45 degrees angel. (Correct me if I'm wrong). However, this guy, who whipped out his phone, held it at 90 DEGREES.
He was holding his phone STRAIGHT, directly facing me, THIS, was when I felt that something was not right. Although I'm a BB user myself, and I am very thankful that I am still a Blackberry user till date (I'll explain more later on). I saw him clicking at the bottom middle part of the phone. It was a Samsung S2.
Observing what had happened, I was curious, and was a little bit worried, cause at the back of my mind, I was wondering, if he took a photo of me. [Yes, I may not be the prettiest, or the most attractive person in the world, neither was my boob was falling out. ]
I was only wearing this.
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| A blue colour dress I bought from Megagamie for CNY |
That right. That was what I was wearing. No, my boobs weren't falling out if you were wondering. Neither was it extremely short that my ass could be seen.
Back to the story. (please mind the vulgarities)
Being me, I took a step to my right, and looked through the reflection of the door, and I saw my face, in his phone. There were photos taken of me.
At that very moment. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was the right thing to do. I didn't know. I was in a state of panic, and shock and confused, I felt very unsafe, very insecure and felt like running away. But some part of me reminded me that, "fuck this bastard, what the fuck was that for". A lot of "maybe(s)" a lot of hesitation was running at the back of my mind.
While those possibilities were running at the back of my mind, this man, went to his "Gallery" and started vetting through the photos he took of me. Those photos he took presented the upper half of my body and I was at least 90% of the entire picture. My mind was shouting
"Something is NOT RIGHT - do something!".
Out of "I DON'T KNOW WHAT", I pointed at him, towards his phone, and said in a very firm voice "Can you delete it".
He looked up, shocked, and started fidgeting with his phone. and I witness through the reflection that he deleted the photos of which was taken of me. He didn't blurt a word, or spoke at all.
Through the ride, I stood right in front of him, staring at the reflection, cause at that point of time, it was my only hope, my only help and my only rescue to save myself from further embarrassment or even humiliation in the future to come.
After watching him delete the photos, I was already at Woodleigh station. I wanted to alight, but I didn't. A part of me told me that I couldn't lose this battle, that I cannot just look like a timid person and walk away like I didn't care. And that station was very deserted still, what if he tagged along, was I suppose to run? No. I decided to alight at Serangoon, where it was the interchange and I knew many people would be alighting with me.
Throughout the ride, he didn't move, he continued browsing the menu of his phone, left, right, left,right, watching every movement I made with my phone. I was contemplating, if I should have taken a photo of that guy, but I did not. (Now, I regret this - one of the few regrets I ever had).
As I alighted the cabin, I gave him a stare. A face I will never forget.
Through this experience, I hope that all the girls out there do take my following advices very seriously.
PLEASE LEARN TO PROTECT YOURSELF.
Given the technology these days, whenever I board the train in the morning, I see everyone being so engrossed with their phones, staring at them like they struck gold. Ignoring what is going on around them.
I know the phone has its own entertainment purposes, you may be trying to crack that Candy Crush Level, but you will never know, while trying, a picture of you got snapped, and that guy has a picture of you, to *comfort* his desire.
Next. I know it is fashion, that everyone bare their backs, or wear really chiffon-nish clothes and show off their bra. Sure, it is nothing, cause at least you are not baring your nipples out in the open. But think twice.
YOU COULD BE ATTRACTING A MAN LIKE THE ABOVE.
TO SNAP A PHOTO OF YOU.
All I have to say is, just watch your surroundings.
Do not belittle the reflection that you often see on the train station, or the doors or mirror. Sometimes they could make you find out things you never knew. Just like what happened to me.
Never place yourself in a VULNERABLE situation whereby you get such attacks.
I know that many of you, while reading this, might ask the following:
"Andrea, why didn't you take a photo of him"
"You should have shouted"
"You should have scolded him in public"
"Showed him what you're made of, fuck him up, embarrass him!"
or those who had had friends asking you "what will you do when one day something like this happen to you?"
But when you're faced with the exact situation I was in. You would be lost, you would be afraid, you would feel really vulnerable and useless like you have no power. I knew I could have done more. Ideally, I could have snapped a photo of his face and I could have reported this and made a big fuss about it - but I did not.
I knew I could have done more than what I did, but I was glad, I had the courage to confront the guy without a question and told him to remove the photo.
That was the least I could do for myself.
*pat on my back*.
What would I do if such incidents happen again?
I would have raised my voice and said "If you want my photo, we can go to the police station".
I would have had my guts in my hands and snatch his phone. Scroll it to my face, and confront him in front of everyone.
I would have taken his phone, punch him in the face, delete the photo and stomp him.
I would have just murdered him (ok, maybe that's too extreme)
But the entire ordeal just made me felt that I should share it with everyone. Regardless of which country you are in, don't just comment about how terrible the rape case in India is only. Because it happens in our very own country too. Just that it doesn't get THAT publicised.
Don't be dumb ladies.
Don't be ignorant about such situations.
Don't be a FOOL and be in such positions.
Be ALERT
I was glad I wasn't holding an extremely smart phone. Cause if I did, I would be guilty for being like many of the girls on board; watching video, scrolling through newsfeed, whatsapp-ing excessively, playing candy crush. So THANK YOU BLACKBERRY!
I hope you share this post with your friends so that everyone will start making this change today - and be alert.
And no, I didn't got molested. I just needed a title to capture you girls attention.
With this, I hope everyone understands that with the growing population and diversified culture that we have in Singapore, such instances may become more obvious, and more apparent as days go by. You may think that Singapore is a really safe country - sure it is better than some countries in the world, but as a women ourselves, we need to protect ourselves and be alert about our surrounding. Because if we don't and we fall into the hands of such man, imagine what our children would be like, in the future.
This is not a joke. It is no laughing matter, and I really hope you take this seriously. Because something so small can always escalate to a bigger problem. No point being degree holders if we cannot even protect ourselves and our friends around us.
It is International Women's Day, be nice, spread the message.
Thank you.
Peace
Andrea
