Honestly, I think if you ask any single(s) or couple(s), there will definitely be a lot of mixed reactions from these individuals. Some of them may put up a front and tell you that they are ok with it, when apparently, they are not. There are also those who really don't give a shit, or have an extremely huge heart that forgives whatever their partner or future partner have committed. Some may believe that it is a sin, while others, simply - do not.
But if you ask me.. it will be an extremely sensitive topic, because it takes a lot of.. courage to go through such a situation. I will tell you the truth, that I will not tolerate infidelity/cheating because it is something that I will not put my partner through and therefore I do not expect or allow myself to go through the same experience.
I am quite an open book, to almost every one I have met, because I feel that in life, there should be less pretence. It makes things a whole lot easier. I tell almost everyone what I have gone through not because I feel proud of it or that I want others to sympathize me. But I say it, because I want to share what I have gone through and hopefully, one day, if ever such a situation befall upon you, you know how to deal with it too.
It is exhausting to repeat what I have went through over and over again, telling someone why I feel a certain way and why I see things in a different light;
to tell someone new about my life story is just.... overwhelming.
I admit, I have made bad decisions in a relationship that have hurt another party and another has also made bad decisions in another relationship that have hurt me.
I remember feeling gazillions of emotions during those periods in my life. Mostly hatred and anger because I felt extremely - well angry. I couldn't understand the reasons, I couldn't understand the decisions made that have caused so much hurt between both parties. I remember seeing myself fall into a turmoil of self-destruction during those periods - and I tell you, they are not nice.
I associate my fear with infidelity not only because of my
relationships experiences, but mainly my experience growing up at home.
That I would not like to dwell on, because... I respect my family's
privacy.
I couldn't trust anyone. Trust was the biggest issue in all my relationships. No matter who, no matter what situation, I think, to earn my trust, is the hardest of all. In fact, even when I say I do trust you, I am 68.9999% sure - I am lying.
Whenever I tell a friend that I cannot tolerate infidelity, that I would break up and not give a chance, they tell me that all will change when I have a kid or when I have more commitments in the relationship. But I did give it a hard thought on what my response was. I think there is a certain degree or level or limit that I have set in my heart for that specific person. And when they cross that benchmark, I will be a ticking bomb, ready to explode, without any thing or anyone holding me back.
Because after all I have went through, I strongly believe in Monogamy. I believe that when you make the decision to be together with the person you love, you ought to stay committed, faithful and love the other person through all hardships and obstacles that comes in your life. But infidelity, to me, is unacceptable. (and I hope it is the same for you too)
xoxo
Andrea
*this post has nothing to do with my current relationship status.
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